Role Reversals - Caring for Aging Parents

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

As our own parent's age we are often faced with a bit of a role reversal. John and Sabrina discuss her experiences with parental care. On this episode you'll learn about How to prepare, What are the costs, What are some good options, and much more. Basic communication ideas around how to bring the topic up with parents and other family members. You can always learn more when you Connect with John by texting "LIFE" to 21000 or GuardianRockWealth.com.

Welcome to the build your life podcast with John Browning. Build your life as a relaxed and unedited conversation with financial expert in number one Amazon best selling author, John Browning. John's the founder of Guardian Rock Wealth and serves clients across the United States. John's the author of the book build a life, not a portfolio, a guide to your financial future based on your personal values, which you can purchase on Amazon, or stay around to the end of today's show and I'll tell you how to get a free copy mailed right to your door. I'm Michael De Lan, your host for the next few minutes as we chat with financial expert and business owner John Browning. Hello everybody, and welcome back to building your life podcast with John Browning. I have a special guest here with us today and we've given Michael Delan the day off. He always he always enjoys having a little bit of time where he doesn't have to speak with with me on the podcast. But I've got Sabrina Rodriguez here today with me and she has she runs assisted living locators and I'll let her explain exactly what that means, but she has, says, mind this experience not just with that, but she also runs other businesses. She turns businesses around. She's a great success story that we can learn from. But today we're going to focus a little bit on that part of life and building your life that we often try to avoid or try not to think about, which is what happens as we age, and not just as we age, but as maybe our parents age, and some of the biggest concerns that people have as their planning for retirement. Number one is running out of money in retirement and what is what is going to be required, not just in retirement, but will you have to at some point help your own parents out and things like...

...that. So, Sabrina, want you introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about assisted living locators. What it is that you do where you are here in south Florida, right, but tell us a little bit about that and why it's important, and then we'll just chat for a little bit about what this means for people. Thanks, John Sabrina Rodriguez. I'm President Senior Care Advisor for assisted living locators. I own a franchise down here to territories in Palm Beachambra County. For all over the nation there's a hundred and fifty of us from California, Illinois, Texas everywhere else, almost in all the states, and what we do is find senior living solutions but no cost of a client. So that could look like memory care or assisted living or even independs at living and anything in between, and I'm a great resource to help connect you to get to that next level and the senior and the senior health care community with with my relationships with Medicare specialists, Medica planners, elda attorneys, you, financial funers, you name it, I got it. I always try to come up with a solution and even if you're not ready to place at that time and you just need a home health aid or just need some advice, I'm here to help and I've got race resources. I would like to suggest an advice for you as well. then. What's the best way, before I forget, what's the best way for people to get in touch with you if they are interested in learning more about what you can do for them? Sure, so, one of the ways you can do I have my numbers five, six one, six D One, five eight zero one. You can call or text at any time. That's my personal cell. The other way is if you text nlx Dot Boga Dot Voga to twenty one tho, you'll be able to get all my contact information from there and really able to schedule directly on my calendar if you want to do a virtual meet agree or whatnot. That would be a great opportunity for us to connect great and and folks that are regular listeners to building your life. You know...

...you can get in contact with me, John Browning, at Guardian Rock Wealth, and I can get you in touch with Sabrina as well, and you just text the word of life, lfe to twenty Onezero. You have all my links, including my calendar link, just like Sabrina was mentioning. You can schedule some time up with me, and those of you who are regular listeners know that I will talk to just about anybody and even if you don't need to have a million dollars or more, you just need to have the desire to get there, because what we do at Guardian rock wealth is we help you create the outcome that you're looking for and we help you get to the why of why you want that and we guard against certain things that might trip you up, one of which is this whole idea of long term care, which, again, is something we don't like to think about but is what Sabrina deals with all the time. And one of the things that I wanted to ask you, Sabrina, is what's the approximate I know it's ballpark sure, what approximate cost when, like you know, my parents are, you know, in their S, at some point they may need there may just be no choice, they might need care. So if I need, like say, part time care, what would that cost? Or if I need full time, full time care, what would that cost? So it varies from state to state, and so in Florida, for talking specifically about Florida, it can be anywhere between twenty five to forty an hour for an aid. You can get something cheaper than that, at eighteen to twenty, but you would have to source them yourself and that's a lot of hard work. So a lot of people go through agencies and registries which are a little bit more because your background screened. As far as full time care, in if they need more help hands on you, you're looking at anywhere between twenty eight hundred dollars to about Twentyzero a month, depending on the level of care for your for your loved one and really the most expensive part of this.

The cost is a level of care and in home twenty four hour aid in Florida can run you almost twentyzero a month as well. So it is really costly and depending on the level of care that you need or your parent needs, it's really important to take a look at the different solutions. So, you know, I do always want to keep the family member in the house if they can stay there safely. So if they, you know, just need a couple of things, you know, being cleaned up in the house, dish is done, a meal made, you know, four hours a day. That's more cost effective since mom owns the house to stay in the house. It comes in for a few hours a day. That's not bad, but when mom needs eight hours or more, that's going to be very hard and also especially out this time during covid define a consistent staff person to come in, a caregiver to come in and not call out, and there's a staff a caregiver stortage right now. So the prices are going to go up and obviously right now lots of people that can afford will keep mom at home because they're afraid of covid and some of the facilities, but those that can't afford you can, you know, have the option of going into facilities again, you know, anywhere between twenty one hundred to even Twentyzero a month, depending on the level of care and how nice you on it right. Well, you, you, Serbni. You and I have talked, you know, I my wife and I used to run home helpers home cover of backward when up around the Chicago, the land area, and back then it used to cost around ten to twelve thousand dollars a month, and that's has really only been about, you know, not quite five years ago, and this gives you an you know, Twentyzero from that twelve ten to twelve thousand. Can See where the price is just our essential kind of skyrocketing for this type of care and it's becoming necessary as the as we age, and you know, the great thing is we age better and and we aged longer,...

...typically speaking, and that's a good thing, but it can be a really difficult thing too if you don't plan for it. And you you actually know Bruce Weinstein and he and I just did a podcast last week of people didn't get a chance to see that. Definitely want to go take a look at that one. But he was talking about the new way that long term care insurance works. It's a lot different than it used to be and, frankly, a lot better than it used to be, but people tend not to want to plan for that when they talk about their financial planning, which is, of course, what we do here at Guardian rock wealth and part of what we do to add values bring people like you and Bruce in as part of the team that does total wealth management. So a big question that a lot of my clients have had that that you might be able to answer to is what are the things to look for in like our parents in terms of when do they really need a little bit of help and and just elaborate on that, because that's a that's a big question for a lot of our listeners. So I think the biggest thing is a control of thing. So now you know with the San Sandwich generation now, where you got children that you're supporting and then also you parents that you may have to support either financially or emotionally. It is it's really hard on, you know, on that sandwich generation to do that. And the parents are our parents, so driving is important to them. And their independence is so important to them. And when you know you look at that, you know you're going to mom might forget where she put something at mom you look in the refrigerator and you see lots of expired products. You look around the house, and mom used to be a neat freak, and there's piles of junk everywhere. There's garbage that's exposed you. Your bills aren't getting paid on time. MOM doesn't remember how to...

...pay the bills, or she forgot that bill is do that day or or what have you. And and driving itself. So you know you have to pay close attention because not only could mom her herself, but she can hurt all their folks and there are situations where you're going to have to take away mom's driver's license if she's a hazard to herself. The best thing to do is to talk mom into recognizing that she's not really fit to drive and also offers solutions to her so she doesn't feel like she's stuck in the house. So, whether it be paced down locally where you can have a bus pick up and drop off, whether it be a uber, they do if they're not afraid of that, which I don't think they ever seen a senior over the age of s Uber by themselves? So pace or a public transportation system would be good. But I would also say, you know, changes in their behaviors and their mood is big. Depression can also lead folks to not learn being alone. So it may not necessarily just go. Mom is having some physical issues, not being able to pick up after yourself, but also she might be having some emotional issues. And Lots of times if you've got a mom or dad that just lost her their spouse that they've been together for forty years, sixty years, whatever it is, or their friends, they're losing friends every day, you got to take a look and see. You know, mom, are you isolated? Do you need do you want to do adult daycare, because are you a loan by yourself, watching TV and your reclusive up into the house? You got to offer solutions and it's not always moving them into assistant living. It could be, like I said, a daycare so they can be around folks, like minded individuals and have a good time. I'm be doing activities instead of just watching the television and socializing is such an important part of our senior community and so during in covid lots...

...of lots of seniors had quickly declined and that was so sad to see. And when when facilities were on lockdowns and people were afraid to put families into assist a living or even day daycare, it really had isolated the seniors and in fact mental health became an issue not just for our younger population but for our senior population. So you really got to pay attention and take a look at the changes in their personality, their mood and physical physically, are they seeing as well as they used to see before? Are they are they forgetful, like I said, inspired food in their refrigerator, things on the counter that are never been there, hoarding that have not been not keeping clean, them not keeping clean. You noticed them walking differently or not able to do the same things they were able to do before, and it becomes a hinderance for caring for themselves. Those are all signs. But unfortunately, John What happens in my industry is ninety percent of my clients come from the hospitals, of the rehabs where mom fell for the fourth time, broke her hip and now they can't, the hospital can't let her go home by herself because she can't care for herself. So somebody's going to have to make the decision for her. So you know, there was a situation where I had a mom in the bathtub. She was at in the bathroom for three days on the floor. No one knew she was on the floor. She fell, she her phone was in the cell phone was in the kitchen, she was in the and she was in the bathroom. Daughter called, couldn't get ahold to her. So the third day the daughter went to visit, had a key to the house, walked in it saw mom on the floor in the bathroom. Mom with you high rated pretty much one was, you know, dead. But fortunately they were able to get her into the hospital and and be and get her rehabilitated. She was in Rehab for a good twelve weeks and obviously I was there to help put her in a nice place so she would have socialization and the help that she needed and without without taking away her independence.

So I've seen those situations happen. So if you're afraid to have those conversations, I've actually had conversations with parents before and there's S, S and S and I've actually been able to get some good traction with those folks and offer solutions, even if it's not assistant living. Yeah, I guess I will concur with you there. Yeah, it's really important that we, as adult children, be aware of and pick up on some subtle differences and behavior or subtle differences in just the way things are around the house and begin to have very carefully those conversations and try and make you know, it's it really needs to be your parents idea. You can't have them feeling like children themselves because, hey, let's remember they raised us right and let's be respectful of that. Don't get frustrated because, guess what, you know, you know, Lord Willing, we're all gonna be there right, we're going to be in the same spot. Let's have some empathy with that. And sometimes somebody like yourself, Sabrina, can be brought in as a third party to kind of help make it their idea. Am I right? And I picking up on that absolutely. So I don't tell someone what they need to do. I only offer selecting justice and solutions and show them things that can you know, people are still afraid that. You know, you made a comment long term care, long term care facilities. Are you know the old and the old days, in the S and S, in the two thousands, long term care fas delator like skilled nursing facility. So there's like twenty four our hospital. So it's like I don't want to go to a nursing home, I don't want that. But nowadays these assist a living in memory care places and even independent living places are literally like a fraternity or Sorority for seniors.

I say that because I got drama to and between, you know, a fighting over a guy or, you know, gossip being I've seen that in these facilities or these communities and and basically it you know, it's they're scared to look at that and they don't know what they're looking at. They think they're looking at nursing homes and you're not putting me in that and in a hospital. I don't want that, as opposed to, Oh my God, I don't have to do laundry, I don't have to do any cooking or cleaning. I mean like there's activities every day and I'll have to do is get up and enjoy them. Are you serious? And so it's a different mindset and so I just like to show the options out there and it's been pretty fun because of change a lot of people's perspectives and views on moving and and some I haven't and and that's okay, and I offer those solutions and they're happy where they're at and as long as they're safe, I'm here to support. I've even offered I've got resources that I've talked to that come into the House and help make the hell house eighty accessible. So if they're in a wheelchair or they need a shower chair in the bathroom, where they need rails in the bathtub, bath not are the bathroom in the shower so they don't fall. There are certain things that you can do to make your home safe or if you decide to stay there. So again, I would offer those suggestions if they decided not moving is not the right thing for them at the time, and that's a really good point too. It might not be a long term care facility, it might be you stay at home, but you have some help. And this is where, once again, we kind of come back to this idea that you may be, whoever's listening to this day. Maybe you're a phenomenal school teacher, you're a phenomenal plumber, your phenomenal electrician. You think about that all the time and you've got thirty, twenty, whatever years worth of experience and doing that. Sabrina, has a lot of experience in exactly this and helping people as they age and aging well,...

...and that's part of building your life, not just your portfolio, and it really does involve the whole family, including your parents, including your children, and involving all of them in a comprehensive wealth me Management Plan that you've put together. So, Sabrina, I am so happy you came on the podcast today. I want you to say it. Tell us one more time how to get in touch with you, and folks always know how to get in touch with me by texting life to twenty Onezero. But how is the best way to get in contact with you? Again, you can text and and Lx that Fogo to twenty one tho, or you can call me directly or text me directly at five six one, six one hundred and fifty eight zero one. All right, Sabrina, it's been awesome to have you on the show. I hopefully we can do this again sometime. Maybe pick a little bit, maybe at more granular part of the process of aging. And planning for that, but we love to have you back on the show again. Thank you. All right, we'll see you. Well, actually, I'm going to see you later on this week, I think on Friday. Right. Yeah, we'll have lunch, of even loose. I'm excited because I'm actually gonna eat unch that day. I don't eat lunch ever, so I'm then eat lunch nice. All right. Well, he's will see towards the end of the week. Bend. All right, John, take care. Money really is a big part of our life, and John Browning can help you and your family learn how to keep money in the proper perspective. It's important, but it's on a tool that can help you build the life that you want. If you like, John Emeil you a free copy of his book build a life, not a portfolio. Go to John's website, Guardian Rock wealthcom, and click the contact to US link and send your request. John Will Mell a copy of his book right to your door absolutely free. Thanks for listening to building your life podcast with John Browning. Be Sure to subscribe to this podcast so each new episode will be sent to you automatically when it's released. Have a terrific day. Nothing in this podcast should be...

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